I drink a not-insignificant amount of coffee a day. Couple this with a liter or two of water a day. The result is that I end up spending a good portion of day going to the restroom in the office to take care of business. I know. You didn't need to know that. You certainly didn't want to know that. But now that it's out there, I'd just like to share a few of my thoughts. After all, a guy's best thinking usually comes from within the four walls of indoor plumbing goodness.
It's now a growing problem, it's a ... spraying problem? Somebody on my floor must go to the restroom as much as I do, because every time I go, there appears to be unknown liquid splattered across the floor in front of the urinals. This isn't just a standard drip situation (sorry...too graphic?). I mean this is someone that's out there with a vengeance or a gross negligence towards any sense of aim whatsoever. The first thing I do when I get there is look at the floor to figure out how to position my feet best such that there is minimal contact with my $6.95 fine Italian leather dress shoes. And no man should have to do that. I've investigated this. I've stepped back from the urinal to watch it flush, thinking perhaps this is just overaggressive cleaning on the part of the urinal. No. It is not. The urinal, as a matter of fact, is weak and feeble. It's more of a drip flush than it is a geyser flush.
How tasty is that toilet mint? Wait. Hold up. I phrased that wrong. To clarify, I have never had the urge to eat the toilet mint, nor the curiosity to learn of its flavor and texture. But I think someone on my floor must, because I've noticed that every time I go there, the "mint" has been moved. Sometimes it's to the left of the drain. Sometimes the right. On a crazy day, in front. Now, I understand if it moves once a day, perhaps because the cleaning crew applies a serious scrub daily to the urinal. But this is not the case. And while I realize our zealous cleaning crew does clean multiple times a day, I have observed their cleaning habits and will attest that they do not take the inside of that bowl as seriously as they do, say, the countertops. So why is that mint moving around so much! Again, see above, this is not as a result of geyser-like flushing.
Wonderful One-Play Wednesday? Except the issue is that it's not every Wednesday. Nor is it only on Wednesday. But has anyone else noticed that on occasion, the toilet paper in the restrooms are all of a sudden one-ply? One-ply! Who even buys that anymore?! To be perfectly honest, I use approximately triple the amount of toilet paper with one-ply because I firmly believe that whole (two-ply) is greater than the sum of its parts (two layers of one-ply). But has anyone figured out a method to the madness of when our bottoms are privy to lush cleansing and when they are subject to the harsh terrain? I would like to know.
These are the most pressing issues that have come to light during my time around the toilet. A prize goes to those who can resolve these pressing issues.
