Today is September 27, which means that it is exactly one month until my birthday. I originally logged on to make a post about potential birthday presents that you can buy me - and you should be on notice that our friendship depends on your buying me a present - but we have something more pressing. We are coming upon the final weekend of September, which can only mean one thing. Foxfield is but a couple days away.
That’s right folks. September 30 is the magic date. This Sunday, at least 600 law students will leave the cozy confines of North Grounds and head down Barrack’s Road to invade what Foxfield Races has coined “Family Day.” Well, that’s their first mistake. That’s an invitation for the law school to come and ruin everything. Luckily, we are not that smart, and Foxfield has stayed on step ahead of us by assigning us a plot that is off in the middle of nowhere, with no children to be seen.
I just want to make a couple notes here for everyone, and I will do this visually for you.
This is Fall Foxfield, not Spring Foxfield. This means that things are a little more tame. However, things should still look somewhat like this. Except, more pastel. Please note - while standing on roofs and hoods are encouraged, do not even think about getting on top of the SBA truck. I will cut you.
Bathrooms might get tight, people. For guys, this is your backup option. In fact, you should do this. Don’t be a douche and use a portapotty when there is a huge line of women waiting for it. They don’t have a choice. You do. Be a Southern Gentleman and pee on this shed-like structure.
This picture I call “Cop Out vs. Doin’ It Right.” The gentleman on the left has made an effort, but not simply not enough. He recognizes that he needs to be wearing lighter colors and a button down shirt, but this is something you could also wear into the workplace. This is something we want to avoid (unless you are AWESOME in the workplace, which he is not). The gentleman on the right, however, has done it right. Aside from the incredible color coordination, he as either had a great time with lots of beer, or something went terribly awry with his pants. Strive to be like him on Sunday.
I am not one to give fashion advice, but I believe this picture is the accurate one for ladies to follow. Think cute sundresses. Think floppy hats. Think lowcut.
This guy takes the cake, everyone. Guys - you need to dress like the guy on the left. Look at the details in the pants. Look at the great sweater. The bowtie. The pastels. Look at the signet class ring he’s got on - he’s clearly from the south. The sunglasses add a cool-guy touch. The croquet mallet really takes the cake. And notice his drink. He’s chosen to go with the traditional red solo cup, but more importantly, you’ll notice it’s a double-cup, which means that he has been double-fisting and continues to be prepared to do so. Live up to these standards.
I hope this has been helpful to everyone and that you will take my notes seriously. Enjoy Sunday, be safe, and see you out there.
